Excerpts

Day 1:

Jill: "I can't believe you're continuing to hold out on me about my note."

Gus: "What note?"

Jill: "The note I left you. Jerk."

Gus: "WHAT note you left me? I have no idea what you're talking about."

Jill: "The note I left you. In your silverware drawer."

Gus: "You left me a note in my silverware drawer?"

Jill: "YES! You mean you haven't *seen* it? How can you not have seen it? Have you not opened your silverware drawer in TWO WEEKS?"

Gus: "Uh-h-h-h, well, you see, right before you came I cleaned my kitchen and did a massive load of dishes, and, well, it seemed pretty pointless to put them away, so I've just been taking clean dishes out of the dishwasher and using them. So, um, no, I haven't opened my silverware drawer since you were here."

Jill: "omg."


Day 2:

Gus: "Haha, yeah, so, I opened my silverware drawer last night and found your note. Very funny. Smartass."

Gus: "Also, I figured that maybe I should put away the rest of the dishes. Except, once I started doing that, I realized that I actually never *ran* the dishwasher in the first place."

Jill: "You mean you've been using DIRTY dishes for the last two weeks??"

Gus: "Well they're not DIRTY. I rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher. Thoroughly."

Jill: "omg."



Day 3:

Jill: "So, I have a nice coffeetable that I thought I'd bring. We can put it in your living room."

Gus: "Why would we do that. What do we need a coffeetable for?"

Jill: "So you have somewhere to put your PLATE while you're EATING. That's what people use coffeetables *for*."

Gus: "I *hold* my plate while I'm eating from it, and then, when I'm done, I put it back in the kitchen. There. Problem solved."

(pause)

Jill: "Life is going to be so much better for you in so many ways once I get there. Practice saying that out loud. So that it feels natural."