Kinship

Kinship, as you might be aware, is defined differently in various cultures all over the world. For example, the !Kung people of the Kalahari have only 36 names for men and 32 names for women, and you are considered related to people who have the same names. For instance, my sister's name is Maria; in !Kung society, that would mean the same incest taboo that prohibits me from marrying her also prohibits me from ever marrying *anyone* named Maria. (So, from the !Kung point of view, one of my college relationships was incest. But what can you do, you know?)

I bring this up because I realized yesterday that I belong to a kinship group I never realized before.

I was almost done with my beach run when I noticed that the ocean had washed up a set of keys onto the shore, a set of keys that looked suspiciously like the ones that ended up at the bottom of Mendocino Bay in the Valentine's-Day-gone-awry story with Keiko. Given the way the currents work on the coast of California, it is actually possible that my keys could one day wash up on the beach in HMB, so I stopped to pick them up.

But alas, the car key, though it looks a lot like mine, is a little thinner. And the key fob, though it looks like mine, is a little squarer. And the housekey that's attached, though it looks like mine, is a little rounder. Plus, there's no office key attached.

I examined them for awhile. Whoever owned these keys must have lost them a while ago, based on the amount of rust on them. Then I tucked them into my pocket and kept running. I felt good. Not because some foolish dude lost his keys in the ocean; that was a terrible experience and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But rather, I felt good because I realized that there's a whole different group of people I'm related to out there that I never knew about before.

And so I say to you, foolish, foolish dude, who was surely doing something pretty obviously stupid, probably against the wishes and sound advice of your girlfriend, when you lost your keys into the ocean, I say to you: you are my brother. And there must surely be more than just the two of us- a whole family of foolish brothers, scattered far and wide throughout the world. To you, my brothers, I say: you are always welcome here in HMB.

But if you should ever come for a visit, I'm going to insist that we stay safely on land...